


Blue Skirts, Grey Suits

by Arachnophobia



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Blow Jobs, Cum Play, Eating out, Food Play, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, P.A!Kuroko, Spanking, boss!akashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 22:22:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3706203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arachnophobia/pseuds/Arachnophobia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>'He’s a grown man that does manly things like watching manly basketball, wearing manly deodorant and cooking manly food to quell his manly man hunger, so there is no way in manly hell does he have a not manly crush on Akashi Seijuro.'</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Skirts, Grey Suits

**Author's Note:**

> iM FINALLY OUT OF EXAM/PHYSICS HELL //HELLOOOO// 
> 
> first of all iM A TALENTLESS SHRIVELED UP ANUS IM SO SRRY FOR WRITING THIS BUT THIS WAS LIKE A HUGE STRESS RELIEF FIC FOR ME B/C PHYSICS AND CHEM EXAMS WERE SOOO STRESSFUL 
> 
> pLS DONT TAKE THIS FIC SRSLY.
> 
> tHINGS U SHOULD PROBABLY KNOW BEFORE READING:  
> 1) AKASHI AND KUROKO ARE BOTH IN THEIR 20'S (ITS UP TO U TO DECIDE HOW OLD THEY ARE BRUHH) 
> 
> 2)IM SOoOOO SOOSOSOSO SORRY IF AKASHI SEEMS OOC WHEN HE DIRTY TALKS KUROKO BUT THERE IS SOOOOO LITTLE OF AKASHI DIRTY TALKING KUROKOOOO AND I NEEEeeeEeEDED IT (MY dirty talking skills r terrible im so sorry) (I'VE NEVER READ AN AKAKURO CUM PLAY FIC ??SAY WHHAAAATTTT. SO I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE ONE ) 
> 
> 3) IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES, OR IF ANYONE SEEMS OOC ITS 77000000 PERCENT MY FAULT, PLS DON'T HIT MMEEeeeEEeE
> 
> 4) HAPPY AKAKURO DAaAAaY !!! (I KNOw that its not akakuro day as yEt IM TERRIBLE) I REALLY WANTED TO PUT THIS UP ON AKAKURO DAY BUT I'LL BE TOO BUSYYY. B'^(
> 
> 5)Pls eXCUSE MY POOR HUMOR & TERRIBLE JOKES

His new boss is weird, Kuroko thinks.

Not weird as in Kise weird but weird as in he’s not an asshole weird.

From what he’s heard of Akashi Seijuro, he prepared himself for a balding man in his sixties with a tastefully offensive mustache bossing him around while smoking a cigar.

So when he sees a red tie, red eyes, and red hair, it hits him and it hits him hard because, he did not prepare for _this_.

Akashi Seijuro welcomes him with a candidly warm smile—a warmth that doesn’t quite reach his frigidly distant eyes—which says friend to all, enemy to none and shows him to his office; where he rightfully belongs as his new P.A.

It doesn’t take Kuroko any significant amount of time to come to the conclusion that: (a) Akashi Seijuro is not anywhere close to sixty, (b) he definitely is not going bald, nor will he be anytime soon, (c) No facial hair is present, (d) Kuroko is 99.9% sure that he does not smoke, and (e) Unless Kuroko does something very, very stupid; Akashi Seijuro will not be bossing him around like a second mother.

“Kuroko, is there something wrong?” Akashi’s sharp voice cuts through his thoughts and it’s only then does he realize he’s been staring at Akashi’s face in complete silence for the pass two minutes

Kuroko knows that he does not feel is face heating up because no.

“Ah, no, of course not, Akashi-san, everything’s fine.” Everything is definitely not fine.

“Well then, I’ll leave you to get settled in. I look forward to working with you, Kuroko.”

//

Kuroko’s new boss is horrible.

Not as in Kise horrible but as in Math Teacher horrible.

Akashi comes in early and leaves late. Once he’s in his office, he’s _in_ his office. There is no coming out for lunch or to stereotypically chat with his coworkers by the water cooler and do they even _have_ a water cooler?

If being a CEO is hard work, Kuroko thinks that being the P.A of a CEO is even harder work.

He does not get to spend his mornings sitting at a desk playing solitaire for three hours, no, this isn’t like his last job, there is no getting paid for doing absolutely nothing.

While that truth remains constant, Kuroko is very much thankful for the fact that there is no Kise, no roaming hands and no unwanted fondling.

Akashi, unlike Kise, is in favor of giving him his own office-and not to mention personal space-over having him at a desk in his. (Although Kuroko had his own desk while working for Kise, the babbling asshole would made an exceedingly annoying endeavor of getting Kuroko to sit at his)

After a solid month of paper work and appointments Kuroko finally gets a rather sketchy feel of Akashi’s transient daily schedule:

(a)  He comes in when the majority of Japan is sleeping; at six on good days, six thirty when he’s running late, and if he doesn’t come in by eight (which has never happened before) Kuroko has decided that he will aptly deem him dead.

 

 

(b)  At seven, he calls Kuroko on his office phone and asks about his scheduled appointments and events for the day, to which Kuroko very humbly replies like he faithful P.A he is.

 

 

(c)  Any appointments that come in either before eight or their scheduled time absolutely must, must , _must_ wait.

 

 

(d)  Akashi chooses to stay cooped up in his preposterously large office for the entire day; when he comes out, he comes out to leave.

 

(e)  Akashi prefers to have his longer appointments either between the hours of eight and one or very, _very_ late into the afternoon. During these very fortunate hours, Akashi is as busy and as irritated as a single mother with six children and Kuroko manages, just slightly, to fit in a couple games of solitaire.

 

 

(f)   The Hunger Hours: The Hunger Hours are the only four hours of Kuroko’s fifteen hour working day in which Akashi is not preoccupied with meetings and paperwork. During these four hours Akashi Seijuro turns into a petulant child and Kuroko has tasks shoved down his throat like Akashi’s metaphorical penis.

 

In the afternoons, he makes and filters calls and busily rechecks Akashi’s scheduled appointments and meetings for tomorrow which threatens to wash away the present day in all its starless glory. He’s a P.A not a business man, so he stores away Akashi’s documents and papers in neatly filed cabinets until the need for them presents itself.  

However, unlike a P.A, and more like a dutiful wife, at three he brings Akashi a steaming cup of black, sugarless coffee, and maybe, just maybe asks if he’d like something to eat.

When change comes to their wordless routine, it comes in the form of bitter, black coffee.

Kuroko eyes the offending black liquid with a malice specially reserved for the repulsive concoction and wonders if someone left it there by mistake. However, written in inhumanely neat kanji is Kuroko’s name on crisp, white paper, and it takes him a while to process the handwriting as Akashi’s. 

_The actual fuck?_ Is what he would say if he were Aomine, but, thankfully, he is not. He does, however, choose to go with a slightly more subtle cock of the head and raising of the eyebrow.

(Does Akashi do this for everyone? What is this about? Is he trying to be nice to him before firing him? Is he trying to be nice to him? Is this some kind of I.O.U for the coffee Kuroko so dutifully gives him at three? Does Akashi do this for all his P.As? Is he trying to be nice to him? Is he trying to be nice to him??? )

After establishing that this is his territory and he will not be having any trespassers, Kuroko slowly approaches the coffee with hesitance in his gait. 

He’s seen Kise drinking from a cup with the same logo and he immediately identifies it as a waste product from an overly priced coffee shop two blocks down, because really, who drinks black coffee and enjoys it.

Kuroko plops himself down onto his chair and stares at the coffee as if he’s expecting a miniature Akashi to pop out of it and do a tap dance before disappearing into thin air like it’s one of Mayuzumi’s terribly clichéd—and not to mention weird—novels.

//

During the course of the day he says nothing about the coffee and neither does Akashi but he repeats the question over and over in his head while staring at Akashi’s fleeting figure; as if the message will somehow be telepathically transferred.

//

“I need you to contact Kise and tell him _he_ needs to bring the contract immediately. I don’t want anyone but him touching it.” Akashi doesn’t look up from the papers he’s reading as Kuroko places the usual cup of coffee onto his desk.   

“I already did. He said that he’s caught a cold and that he might die if he even lifts a finger. He’s requested that I come pick it up for you.” Akashi’s eyes briefly flicker to the coffee and then to Kuroko and its uncomfortable eye contact all over again.

“Hmm. Perhaps it’s better to wait until he’s fully recovered before going anywhere _near_ him. However, if that is the case, it won’t do much harm for me to simply pay him a visit to wish him good health.” 

Akashi leans into his chair and laces his pale fingers together, forming a cobweb of white flesh with a haphazard sprinkling of green veins. Squared nails, carefully trimmed, Akashi cocks his head slightly to the side and lowers his eye lids all without breaking eye contact.

 Kuroko doesn’t know if it’s just him or is Akashi looking at him in a way bosses aren’t supposed to look at their P.As?

It’s a ridiculous thought and Kuroko dismisses it immediately but Akashi’s voice turns into static fuzz as he tries not to fidget under the weight of his gaze.

 Kuroko is 100% sure that Akashi is not going _just_ to wish Kise good health, and maybe, just maybe he’ll find Kise’s severed penis on his desk in the morning, wrapped neatly in a red bow, a gift from Akashi himself.   

Because Kuroko knows.

 And Kuroko knows that Akashi knows that Kise is definitely not sick in the slightest. A poorly constructed ruse to get Kuroko into his penthouse is what it is, and Kise created his own demise when he got Akashi’s work involved in it.

“I’m dismissing you for the rest of the day, Kuroko. I must attend to Ryota without delay.” Kuroko takes note of the way Akashi says Ryota and not Kise and begins to hope he doesn’t have to clean up a severed penis tomorrow morning.

// 

  Instead of finding a severed penis on his desk in the morning, Kuroko finds something much, much worse; a cup of coffee.

And there it is again; his name; in hand writing that makes his look like a sorry excuse for chicken scratch. 

Today’s coffee is vanilla, and it’s significantly better than yesterday’s high grade of plain, depressing, tasteless, gloomy, miserable, bland, merciless, hardhearted, one directionish, offensive, bitter, bitter, so very bitter, heartless, baby-eating, cruel, Robbin Thickleish, dream-crushing, child-devouring, toothpaste-and-orange-juice-tasting, lifeless, flavorless, soul sucking, black coffee.

Kuroko figures that they’ve reached a mutual give take agreement. He gives Akashi a cup of coffee in the afternoon and Akashi gives him a cup of coffee in the morning.

But that doesn’t stop Kuroko’s heart from metaphorically doing summersaults in his chest because literally he’s going to die.

He wonders if he’s taking it too seriously, but it feels as if Akashi is flirting with him, and he spends a solid five minutes sitting and smiling at the cup of coffee before he slaps himself and realizes that Kise’s stupidity must be getting to him.

//

Kuroko tries to tell himself that he just really doesn’t give a shit, but like a mother it nags him until he can no longer ignore it.

The transition from gloomy black to creamy vanilla was instant and from there on out unchanged.

As far as Kuroko knows, he’s never given Akashi much of his personal information other than what was absolutely required of him, so why, just _why_ does Akashi know he likes vanilla?

//

On his second week of trying to figure out just what kind of ethereal being Akashi Seijuro is, Kuroko decides that he absolutely must get as much information on him as humanly possible without looking like a stalker.

The internet—the sweet, sweet internet, god bless the internet—provides him with enough information to be considered a professional _stalker_ because there’s a Wikipedia page on Akashi, a _Wikipedia_ page.    

Kuroko now knows about Akashi’s childhood, his mother, his father, how many houses he has in how many different countries, his birthday, his horse, his calligraphy skills, his shoe size, his favorite food, his weight, what time he usually goes to sleep, and last, but not least: his favorite color. Because what kind of stalker would he be if he didn’t know Akashi’s favorite color?

But he’s not a stalker.

Not when Akashi is as elusive and as cryptic as DS stylus—one minute he’s there, and one minute he isn’t.

 

//

Kuroko isn’t sure what Mayuzumi is supposed to do. Kuroko isn’t sure what Mayuzumi is supposed to be.

Security? Not impossible but also not very likely. God could descend upon the earth with a choir of angles singing in the background and Mayuzumi wouldn’t notice it, not with his face in the latest addition of Onee-chan ga Kita.

On a Tuesday morning, when the city is still lethargic with sleep, he finds Mayuzumi with his feet on the counter, contentedly sitting in the sectary’s chair. And that’s when it clicks.

Secretaries are vicious creatures; they often work long hours and have to deal with clueless customers and angry accountants. Even though Kuroko is fresh out of internship, he has learnt that secretaries are not to be trusted.

That truth remains constant for most secretaries; however, secretaries like Mayuzumi are an entirely different breed.

They fester in the dark like a nasty, slimy octopus who believes itself to be a fairy princess.

They irk Kuroko more than seven year olds complaining about not getting enough coffee because what the actual fuck you’re seven and you don’t need that.

They work on floors that use them for more of an aesthetic appeal rather than an actual purpose. (Floors that house the CEO, Chairman of the Board, and other board members. In layman terms, floors with rich assholes who walk around with million dollar watches the size of fucking saucers which they wear to remind them of who they are on the inside rather than to tell the time of day.)

Secretaries like Mayuzumi earn at least half of his salary without even getting up to scratch their asses.  

With his eyes glued to the newest monthly installment of ‘I can’t believe my little sister is this cute’, Mayuzumi doesn’t notice him until he plucks the tasteless piece of literature from this hands and Kuroko gets what he refuses to believe is a growl, as if he’s taken a piece of rotten meat from a delusional and hungry lion.

 “What kind of person is Akashi-san?” Mayuzumi’s worked for Akashi for three years, if anyone knows, it’s him. Not to mention that Kuroko is desperate for all and any information he can get on Akashi.

 “Shouldn’t you know that? It’s not like I’m his P.A.” Mayuzumi’s words are bitter and he looks at Kuroko as if he’s ready to claw at him like the mutated man cat he is.

“I’ve only been acquainted with Akashi-san for five months; you’ve been here for three years.” Kuroko keeps his voice leveled and his grip on the novel steady.

 “How should I know? Akashi is a cryptic asshole. Why don’t you ask one of the girls on the forty second floor, they practically worship him.”

“I’m more interested in what you have to say, Mayuzumi-san.” 

Mayuzumi grabs his tie and pulls him close, until he can feel his lips against his ear, “Listen here _Kuroko_ _-_ _kun_. These walls have ears and eyes. Akashi sees all, hears all and knows all. And I’m really not in the mood to be fired.” 

Mayuzumi plucks his novel out of Kuroko’s grip but doesn’t stop talking, “I don’t know what world you live in but this is the biggest company in Japan and there are people who would literally kill to have your job. You’re on your own new blood. Oh, and, word to the wise…don’t go on the forty second floor, the Akashi worshippers always hated his P.A.s, they’ll skin you alive.”

//

Mayuzumi’s words haunt him like a crazy fifteen year old haunts her boyfriend. His vague comments drive him crazier than text messages of ‘Where are you’, ‘What are you doing’, ‘At exactly what time of the day were you born’ and ‘What did you eat for breakfast?’

Just what is Mayuzumi supposed to mean when he says he doesn’t feel like losing his job? Kuroko wonders if, beneath that candid smile of his, Akashi has a heart of chipping and chiseled ice and the mind of a malevolent murder.

‘ _Akashi sees all, hears all and knows all_ ,’ Kuroko finds his mind wondering back to his secret games of solitaire and swallows down the horror gathering in his throat.

The possibility of losing _his_ job is very real. 

Akashi is efficient, intimidating, demanding and distant but most of all he is fair. He treats his employees equally and with respect and maybe that’s why job applications flow in like water, Akashi owns the largest company in Japan for a reason after all.

Mayuzumi, on the other hand, couldn’t give less of a fuck in general and could make even a lamp post feel bad about itself if he was in a pissy mood.   

After a lengthy argument with himself, most of which was trying to convince himself that he was not, in fact, crazy, he decides that the only useful information gotten out of Mayuzumi was about the Akashi worshippers.

//

Three weeks of creamy vanilla coffee has dulled his senses and the cloudy poison seeps into his arteries and gets to his head.

Everything is red, red, red and as he writes his to do list for tomorrow, he finds himself doodling a horrendous drawing of Akashi and himself surrounded by hearts as if he’s a love sickened teenager.

He immediately disposes the drawing into the nearest waste basket and proceeds to have an existential crisis.

Now is the appropriate time, Kuroko thinks, to get himself a psychologist, move to Hawaii and live in the trash where he belongs.

He’s a grown man that does

 manly things like watching manly basketball, wearing manly deodorant and cooking manly food to quell his manly man hunger, so there is no way in manly hell does he have a not manly crush on Akashi Seijuro.

//

On the third week of their secret Santa gift exchange, Akashi plays dirty.

And Kuroko’s fragile ecosystem collapses.

Because it shouldn’t be there, really.

Not if their little coffee exchange is mutual. Coffee for coffee. Just that. Nothing more nothing less. Strictly professional. Kuroko’s first, last and middle name is professional. His Mother’s Father’s Father’s only son’s only daughter had one child and she named him professional.

It shouldn’t strike him like a blow to the back of the head, but it does. If he were working for another person in another office, it would’ve been normal, but he’s working for Akashi Seijuro, the head of a conglomerate, and Akashi Seijuro is Akashi Seijuro and this certainly is not normal.   

The muffin leans against the cup of coffee as if it did not just have the audacity to crush Kuroko’s fragile mindset and it silently laughs at him as he tries to pick up the pieces, but this is a problem that duct tape can’t solve.

Rich people and their cryptic messages be darned, Kuroko takes a bite out of the muffin and savors it as the buttery goodness melts in his mouth, because no he is not crazy.

//

“I can see that you’re very busy, but I’ll have to interrupt you.”

Kuroko almost jumps out of his chair when Akashi sneaks up on him from behind and catches him in the act, red-handed, playing solitaire.

By right, Akashi shouldn’t be here, it’s only half eleven and he has an interview, and it’s far too early in the morning to deal with this.  

“Ah, Akashi-kun, I can explain.” Kuroko knows that he does not feel his face going red like a teenager caught watching gay porn because he definitely cannot explain.

“I’m sure you can.” Akashi says, and it makes Kuroko want to slap the smugness right off of his ridiculously symmetrical face.

“However,” he continues, “Why don’t you join me for lunch instead. My treat of course.”   

Kuroko’s sure he didn’t hear that right, because it sounded like Akashi just invited him out to lunch instead of firing him.

Kuroko does not have a crush on his boss, so he definitely does not fantasize about going on a date with him and he is, in no way, eager to go to lunch with him.

Kuroko can feel his heart flutter, not in a metaphorical, clichéd way, but he actually feels his heart skip a beat and he thinks that he’s going to have a heart attack if Akashi so much as looks him in the eye. It’s not because he likes Akashi though, definitely not, his heart just does that sometimes. Hearts are crazy things. Like small children but crazier.   

He wants to crawl in a hole and die. This is definitely not going according to his fantasies.

The situation is as awkward as getting a boner in math class, but Akashi seems undisturbed, as if no, he hasn’t just destroyed Kuroko’s fragile mindset for the second time and Kuroko can hear the ghost of the muffin laughing in the distance.

“I’d…love to?”  It sounds more like a question than a response and Kuroko wants to bang his head against a wall because he knows that somehow he’s going to fuck this up.

“Then it’s settled, we’ll use my car. Come on.” Akashi says it as if they’ve sat down and spoken about whose car they’ll use and where they’ll go and he beckons for Kuroko to follow him as if they’ve done this several times before.  

//

Three. Akashi owns three sports cars. Kuroko doesn’t know enough about cars to decide whether or not he should categorize his two Mercedes Benzes, Mercedes Benzeses? Mercedes Benzi? Whatever. Under ‘sports car’, he figures that all cars Mercedes Benzes produces are more of ‘look at how much money I have,’ kind of cars.

Some people buy a house; some people buy a Mercedes Benzes.

So five. That’s five ridiculously priced cars. Five cars that individually costs more than Kuroko makes in a year. Great. 

Akashi owns a lot of companies and Kuroko can only guess that he has more than five sports cars. Mercedes Benzes are for sissies after all.

“I’m sorry to drag you out all the way here. I just have to collect one of my laptops from my apartment, it won’t take very long, don’t worry.” Akashi smiles at him like a god smiling at a believer, and if Akashi is a religion, Kuroko is the Pope.

“I don’t mind at all, Akashi _-kun_.” 

During their Fun Fun Super Duper Lunch Fest, FFSDLF for short, at a five star restaurant, Akashi managed to strangle out of him information even _he_ didn’t know about himself. He also did a very good job at persuading Kuroko to drop the -san but no amount of sweet talking can get Kuroko to call him just Akashi—that’s one game he won’t lose at. 

Also, one very important but not so important but also kinda somewhat important thing Kuroko noted, was that at one point during their FFSDLF, Akashi’s foot brushed against his calf.

Kuroko brushed it off, a mistake, a mishap, a mishy-mishy mashy-mashy accident.

And then it happened a second time. And he brushed it off a second time.

And then it happened a third time. And he brushed it off a third time.

And then it happened a fourth time. But this time Akashi made eye contact and slowly rubbed his foot against the bear skin of his calf, and in doing so pushed up the hem of his slacks even more. And he brushed it off a fourth time.

And so, the protagonist of his very own shojo manga, Kuroko Tetsuya, finds himself in Akashi Seijuro’s car, after eating lunch with Akashi Seijuro himself, going to Akashi Seijuro’s penthouse.

Great.

//

Kuroko doesn’t know how it happens. But he ends up on one of the many couches in Akashi’s ridiculously huge penthouse.

With Akashi on top of him.

Kissing him.

The only person Kuroko’s ever kissed was his mother and maybe his grandmother when he was a child, so he definitely is not prepared when he feels Akashi’s tongue rubbing and running over his.

He tries not to kiss like a virgin but Akashi is in a world of his own and ignores all proper kiss and romance book etiquette so all Kuroko can do is try his best not to writhe and moan as Akashi cups his growing erection.

Akashi’s kisses are addicting.

His eyes are hooded as he pulls away and it’s the hottest thing Kuroko’s ever seen, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I’m sorry.”

Kuroko doesn’t know why Akashi is apologizing as if his name is Sakurai Ryo but the panic in his eyes seem to be genuine and Kuroko can more than relate because he thought that _he_ was the one that was going to fuck up their relationship. 

“It’s okay,” Kuroko says as he cups Akashi’s face but he looks away in shameful embarrassment as the mutters, “I…I liked it.”

Kuroko thinks he hears something. It sounds like a flowing fountain of chocolate and Klondike bars and sparkles and childhood and world peace and small, fluffy animals and milkshakes and the dreams of little children combined in one sweet, sweet, _sweet_ sound.

It’s Akashi’s laugh.

Kuroko wants to hit Akashi so hard that’ll leave permanent damage because he isn’t allowed to be perfect.

Akashi leans back to straddle Kuroko’s lap and runs a shaky hand through his hair, “Thank god. You were driving me crazy. I was worried that you’d never pick up on my advances.”

_You don’t even know,_ is what he wants to tell Akashi but he doesn’t.

Kuroko pushes Akashi back so that he’s the one lying down and Kuroko’s doing the straddling. Kuroko doesn’t know what the hell it is that he’s doing in all honesty, but it’s worth a try.

It’s weird because: a) Kuroko’s never done anything like this before, b) He’s incredibly turned on and getting a boner just from kissing? He may be a super virgin but Akashi doesn’t need to know that and c) He can feel Akashi’s abs through his thin dress shirt and _god_.

“Is that so? Then maybe you should’ve tried harder, Akashi-kun.  Even Kise-kun made a better effort than th-”

Before Kuroko can finish his sentence, he is very rudely interrupted by a somewhat angry Akashi and pushed down into the soft, leathery couch as Akashi’s hot breathe fans against his neck before he _bites._

“Are you comparing me to Ryota, Tetsuya? Did Ryota ever get you into his penthouse? Did Ryota ever kiss you? Did Ryota ever touch you like _this_ -” Akashi’s hand dips under his the waist band of his pants to grab a fistful of his aching cock and Kuroko doesn’t even regret opening his mouth in the first place.

// 

“Kuroko, can I speak to you for a minute?” It isn’t much of a question when the only answer is yes, yes he can.

 “How may I assist you, Akashi-kun?” Kuroko replies, as polite and as curt as usual.

Because giving a proper reply in a proper way is for proper losers, Akashi gets up from his desk, folder in hand, and makes a beeline for Kuroko. His movements are calculated and precise as he encircles Kuroko from behind and holds the folder open.

“I need you to deliver this to Aida Riko on the fifty-seventh floor, and tell her that these are to be distributed to our shareholders.”

Akashi leans in much, much, much too close to ever be professional and Kuroko can feel his lips against the shell of his ear as they curve into a smile, “Is there something wrong, Kuroko?”  

Yes, yes there is something wrong because Mayuzumi is in Akashi’s office, sitting right there, watching them with judging eyes, and Kuroko once again has the overwhelming  urge to hit Akashi Seijuro.

“No, there isn’t,” Kuroko pinches the folder out of Akashi’s hand, “I’ll give it to her right away.”

“Indeed.” Akashi says.

“ _Indeed.”_ Mayuzumi echoes.

//

It’s only two weeks since they made-out like hormonal teenagers and contrary to Mayuzumi’s and Kise’s belief; he’s still a virgin and no, Akashi does not make him wear panties to work.

“Okay, but what about skirts—I’m sure he’s made you wear a skirt. Pink? Blue? Short? Super short? Super _super_ short?” Kise seems to be asking the question for his own personal enjoyment rather than to find out if Akashi has been sexually harassing him.

“Unfortunately for you, Kise-kun, no, Akashi has never made me wear a skirt.”  Kuroko rolls his eyes when Kise puts another napkin to his profusely bleeding nose.

“Awww, what a waste. Please wear a skirt for me, Kurokocchi!”

“You knoooowww,” Kise continues before Kuroko can ignite pass his face, “Akashicchi came by and asked me what kind of coffee you liked a couple of months ago. I would’ve never told him if I knew he was trying to molest my poor Kurokocchi!”

_Oh._

So that’s how Akashi knew.

Maybe Kise needs to have his lips stapled together, his fingers broken off and eyes gougedout so that he can never communicate with another human being ever again.  

Kise breaks off into a sob in his last sentence and tightly hugs Kuroko, “Does he tie you up and do evil things to you, Kurokocchi? Or does he make you wear a maid uniform and call him master? Or does he spa—”

“ _Kise-kun_ , your nose bleed is getting worse.”

//

Kuroko finds the usual cup of coffee and muffin on his desk in the morning, except there’s one little thing.

It’s not supposed to be there because he doesn’t take Akashi for that type of person; but it’s there.

Attached to the coffee cup on a post it note is Kuroko’s name, but that isn’t what he’s pissing his pants over—

It’s the heart that surrounds his name.

There are tiny little hearts surrounding the bigger heart and Kuroko’s brain does summersaults.

The muffin, once again, laughs at him.

//

Making out with Akashi at inconvenient times in inconvenient places becomes somewhat of a habit. 

Sometimes they do it in Akashi’s office, sometimes in the elevator, sometimes in the car park, sometimes in Kuroko’s office and sometimes, Akashi sneaks his hand down to grab Kuroko’s ass whenever they’re in front of Mayuzumi to which he only rolls his eyes and either: a) tells them to get a room, b) pretends to puke or c) do both.

Akashi pecks him on the lips _once_ while Kise’s there and Kuroko never hears the end of it.

Never.

//

Akashi takes him out to lunch whenever he’s not swamped with work, which isn’t very often, but it’s nice, and they’re always together in the office anyway.

Akashi also grows increasingly cockier, more demanding, like an eight year old vying for its mother’s attention.  

“What about my kiss?”

More like ‘ _What about his slap?’,_ because Kuroko doesn’t remember when it became a habit of his to give Akashi a kiss along with his afternoon coffee.

“I don’t know, Akashi, what about your kiss?”

“Come on, Tetsuya. Kissing every once in a while doesn’t hurt. It helps build a healthy relationship, you know.”

It has Kuroko shaking his head. How childish. He also doesn’t think that deep mouth to mouth action more than five times a day counts as ‘once in a while.’

//

Kuroko’s brought dishonor onto himself, his family, his _cow_.

Because this is the second time Akashi has walked in on him playing solitaire when he’s supposed to be filtering calls and scheduling appointments.

And because he knows how to pull Kuroko’s strings, he sneaks up on him and does a thorough job of scaring the living shit out of him.

“Why is it that you like solitaire so much?” Akashi whispers into his ear and with a surprised yelp (a sound that he will forever deny making) Kuroko jumps out of his chair to face Akashi with wide eyes like an eight year old caught eating sugar in the middle of the night.

“Akashi-kun. I…I can explai—”

Akashi presses his index finger to Kuroko’s lips and—

“Shhh.” He shushes Kuroko and Kuroko knows that Akashi knows that they both know that Kuroko can’t explain.

The pad of Akashi’s index finger slowly, sensually, _seductively_ , traces his lips before it retracts and he connects his lips with Kuroko’s.

Akashi takes his sweet time working Kuroko’s mouth open to run his tongue over pearly white premolars and canines and by the time he pulls away, Kuroko is a panting mess.

Akashi licks the shell of his ear and the squelching sound it makes shoots straight to Kuroko’s dick. He trails butterfly kisses, soft and soothing, down Kuroko’s jaw but it only serves to deceive as he abandons his gentle façade and _bites_. 

Akashi licks and sucks at it as if he’s sorry, but they both know he isn’t. Before Kuroko gets the chance to tell Akashi that if he bites him again, he’ll chop his dick off, his hands drop to fondle Kuroko’s ass.

Having Akashi so suddenly squeeze and grab and kneed it, is startling to say the least. Akashi’s hands are rough- _punishing_ —

But Kuroko _likes_ it.

He likes it so much that he arches his back and pushes his ass against Akashi’s hand and moans—moans so loud that he can only pray no one heard it and Akashi, the bastard, smirks into his neck.

“My, my, Tetsuya, you’ve been quite _naughty_ , haven’t you.  I think you deserve a good spanking for playing games during work hours, don’t you?”

Kuroko doesn’t know how a living human being could sound so hot without their tongue being scalded by their very own hotness. 

Kuroko also doesn’t know how it got to this but he nods his head and moans, because yes, yes he wants to be spanked, “I’ve been a _bad_ boy, Akashi-kun.”

This time it’s Akashi who does the groaning as he makes quick work of Kuroko’s pants and boxers and Kuroko feels his face burning from being exposed like this; his slender cock hard, flushed a pretty primrose pink and begging for attention. 

Akashi bends Kuroko over his desk in such a way that he’s propped up on his elbows, his legs spread apart to give Akashi access to both his cock and ass, and he arches his back to make sure Akashi gets a good show.

He feels Akashi’s hands on his butt cheeks as he kneads them apart and pushes them back together, Kuroko moans and wiggles his ass. 

Akashi gives one last squeeze before he connects the palm of his hand to Kuroko’s left ass cheek with a smacking sound of skin hitting skin, “Do you want me to paint this pretty ass of yours red, Tetsuya?”

Holy shit. Akashi Seijuro is the last person Kuroko would expect dirty talk from but holy shit. Begin spanked hurts more than Kuroko though it would but as Akashi strokes his cock before giving Kuroko’s ass a few more spanks he starts to whimper and moan.

“Hmm? Do you like being spanked, Tetsuya? Do you like being bent over a desk and spanked like a little slut with your ass in the air?”

Akashi’s a terrible tease with the way he alternates between soothingly stroking Kuroko’s rapidly reddening ass and punishingly slapping the swelling skin. He has Kuroko gasping when he slides his finger between the crack of his ass to circle his hole, bringing him to a whole new level of pleasure.

Kuroko moans in protest when Akashi retracts his finger only to gasp when the cheeks of his ass are pulled apart and he feels something soft and wet against his puckering entrance.

He whimpers when Akashi circles his needy hole, his thighs quivering with the effort it takes just to hold himself up. He can’t think straight, not when Akashi enters him with his tongue and especially not when all he wants to do is press Akashi’s face into his ass and force him to fuck him with his tongue. 

He feels Akashi’s tongue entering him, slipping past the tight ring of muscle, and Akashi groans into his ass. His tongue is hot and wet as he rubs against his walls and the feel of it is nothing less that erotic.

Akashi fits in the most he can, and then he does exactly what Kuroko wants him to do—he fucks him with his tongue.  

“Akashi kun, I’m going to—”

“You don’t get to cum without my permission, Tetsuya. So don’t even think about it.”

Akashi retracts his tongue and Kuroko whimpers at the loss. Kuroko wants to touch himself, he wants to touch himself so bad, to stroke his own cock until he spills over, to reach down and fuck himself on his fingers, just anything, _anything_. 

Akashi begins to spank him again and, “Harder, _please_ —oh god—Akashi _._ ”

The sound of the palm of Akashi’s hand slapping the skin of his ass echoes around the room and it goes straight to Kuroko’s cock, he’s on the verge of coming, just one more hit, one more squeeze, but he knows that he can’t, not until Akashi says so—

“Tell you what, Tetsuya. Get on your knees and suck my cock and then I’ll think about letting you cum.”

Akashi sits on Kuroko’s swivel chair and parts his legs. Kuroko gets between them and on his knees so fast, that it would put Usain Bolt to shame.

Kuroko looks up to Akashi, just making sure that he actually has the permission to pull down his pants and expose the ~~*whispering 10 year old voice* private parts~~ hard cock tenting his pants.

Akashi gives him a smile and a nod and its only as he’s in the process of pulling Akashi’s dick out of his boxers does he realize that he’s about to suck his boss’ cock.

He almost cums from the thought alone.

Kuroko doesn’t know how to give a proper blow job but he’s talked to Extreme Pervert Kise and Professional Boob Inspector Aomine enough times to have an idea as to what he should do.

Akashi’s cock is soft and hot and hard in his hand and Kuroko decides to lick it before trying to fit the whole thing into his mouth.

It’s weird to do something like this, but it’s also hot, and knowing that Akashi is watching him while he sucks him off only adds fuel to the fire.

 He runs his tongue up and down, up and down Akashi’s dick before he licks beneath the mushroom like head of his cock and it earns Kuroko a groan as Akashi tangles his hands into his hair and pushes him back down onto his cock.

Kuroko does it again because Akashi seems to like it before he takes the tip into his mouth. His hand strokes Akashi’s cock and alternates between going up and down and twisting.

His other hand massages Akashi’s balls, but it’s slightly difficult because of the way he’s sitting.

He tries to take in even more of Akashi’s warm cock but he can only go about half way down without gagging. Kuroko hallows his cheeks and bobs his head up and down, up and down his boss’ thick cock.

“That’s right, suck it like the good little cockslut you are,” Akashi shouldn’t be allowed to sound so cool and composed while Kuroko’s a moaning mess on the floor.

He can taste pre-cum, and it isn't very bitter but rather, it’s thick and slimy and slightly salty. He makes sure his tongue rubs against Akashi’s cock with every bob of his head.

And then there’s the saliva; a lot of it. It runs down Kuroko’s chin and generously coats the dick he’s sucking. It makes it easier, though, easier to for his hand to jerk Akashi off, getting to where his mouth can’t reach.

Kuroko stops for a second, a thousand thoughts running through his mind, and then he takes one of Akashi’s balls into his mouth.

It already coated with the spit that’s running down his cock and Akashi groans, and it’s the sexiest thing he’s ever heard in his entire life. He sucks on Akashi’s balls, taking the entire thing into his mouth, pulling it a bit, while his other hand continues to stroke his erection.

He wants to touch himself so bad. He’d spread his legs and shove a dildo up his ass, fuck himself raw, while Akashi watched if it meant that he’d have the permission to cum.

Kuroko brings his head back up to take in Akashi, bring his head down to take in as much as he can, while his hand doesn’t stop massaging Akashi’s spit coated balls.  

Akashi groans when Kuroko wiggles his tongue in the slit of his cock, twists his wrist and moans all at the same time, “Tetsuya, I’m going to—”

It’s all Akashi gets out before he comes in Kuroko’s mouth and it’s a weird sensation to have someone cum in his mouth, but Kuroko doesn’t stop stroking Akashi’s hard cock until he’s sure that he’s finished cumming.

Kuroko removes his mouth from Akashi’s dick and a string of cum connects his lip to the tip of Akashi’s cock before it breaks off and Akashi groans at the site.

Kuroko looks up at Akashi with cum in his mouth and uncertainty in his eyes, “Keep it in your mouth but don’t swallow.”

Akashi’s eyes dart around his office before they land on an almost-finished vanilla milkshake by his keyboard and he reaches over to pick it up.

It’s a small milkshake, and it’s about a quarter of the way finished but it’s still cold and Kuroko wonders just what in God’s good world is Akashi doing.

He doesn’t have to wait long to find out, not when Akashi takes off the cover and tells him, “Spit.”

Spit? Spit? _Spit?_   Spit Akashi’s cum into his milkshake? Just who does Akashi Seijuro think he is? Kuroko’s cock is two seconds away from bursting and it’s even _harder_ when Akashi treats him like this.

After two seconds of internal debating, Kuroko’s dick wins the argument and he spits the cum into the cup, “Good boy, Tetsuya.”

Kuroko’s burning face blossom an even dark shade of red as he feels embarrassment catching up with him. Akashi pulls back up his own boxers and pants before he swirls around the mixture in the cup.

“Open your mouth, Tetsuya.” If Akashi asked in for a lap dance right now, he would give him one, as long as he gets to cum.

“Good boy. Now, I want you to drink all of this, okay? If you don’t I’ll have to punish you, and you don’t want to get punished now, do you?”

Kuroko shakes his head vigorously and his nails bite into Akashi’s legs as he tries to resist the overwhelming urge to touch himself. Kuroko moans and arches his back, his mind too hazy to even begin to comprehend what it is that Akashi is going to do.

When Akashi begins to pour the liquid into his mouth it’s a startling contrast, sweet against salty, thick against creamy. Kuroko moans and readily gulps it all down because it’s hot and sexy and delicious all at the same time.

Akashi groans and bites his lip, “Sit on the desk.”

Kuroko does just what he says and a breathy sigh slithers past his pink lips when Akashi’s hand curls around his cock. 

Akashi’s hand job is ridiculously good and it leaves Kuroko as a moaning mess on a desk and he almost cums when Akashi expertly massages his balls and takes his nipples into his mouth at the same time.

“You took my cock like a good little whore, didn’t you?” Kuroko whimpers, “Next time I’ll bend you over my desk to fuck that slutty little ass of yours, how about that? Or how about I put a vibrator up there right after I eat your pretty pink ass out.”

That’s all Kuroko needs before he shudders and cums with a choked moan.

Akashi cleans them up before he pulls Kuroko close, “Are you okay? Was I too rough?”

Akashi asks with such genuine concern, and Kuroko can only smile at him through half-lidded eyes because he’s so tired, he’d give anything to take a nap right now, “I’m fine, Akashi-kun, you idiot.”

“I’m glad,” Kuroko has half the mind to say ‘Hello glad, I’m dad,’ but his body gives out before he can even open his mouth, “Tetsuya.”

He slumps against Akashi in a boneless heap and barely registers it when Akashi carries him princess style into his office, rests him on a couch and kisses his forehead, “Sleep tight, Tetsuya.” 

//

 Kuroko’s eyes flutter open, but his body groans in protest, so he buries his face into Akashi’s chest, “Seiju…Seijuro, wake up.”

He groggily murmurs and puts his entire hand onto Akashi’s face before slowly sliding it off, “I don’t want to, _Tetsuya_.”

After five months of living with Akashi Seijuro, Kuroko discovers that he is nothing but a petulant child in the guise of an intimidating dictator. He gives more trouble than a teenager to get out of bed in the morning and Kuroko knows that he secretly gets jealous whenever Kise gets too much of his attention. 

“Let’s take the day off today,” Akashi groans, before he rolls onto his side, pulls Kuroko close and buries his face into Kuroko’s neck.

“You were wearing a skirt and panties in my dream last night, Tetsuya. We’ll go out today and buy you some skirts and panties—some _lacy_ ones.”

He’s also discovered that Akashi Seijuro is the biggest pervert ever.

No energy to get up and go to work but all the energy in the world to lure Kuroko into his sexual fantasies. With an angry huff, Kuroko knees Akashi in the groin and—

“ _Ouch_.”

“You’re hopeless Seijuro.” Kuroko rolls his eyes but he can’t hide the smile that blossoms on his lips.

And just like that, their day starts all over again.

 //

**Author's Note:**

> wHY DOSE AKASHI'S PENIS ALWAYS SUFFER PHYSICAL ABUSE WHENEVER I WRITE THIS AU??? R.I.P aKASHI SEIJURO'S PENIS 4/8/2015
> 
> ThANK YOU FOR READING THIS GIANT PIECE OF CRAP I HOPE YOU LIKED IT, EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT!!! <3 <3 <3 tbh i guess this could've been considered as a giant pwp, since there ins't really much plot. 
> 
> aS ALWAYS CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, KUDOS AND COMMENTS ARE 900000% APPRECIATED *CHA CHA CHAS REAL SMOOTH OUTTA HERE*


End file.
